Show Me Your World

I am without a diverse religious background; therefore I have a very limited reference of world religions. I am a person without with a tremendous amount pain; therefore I can only sympathize with those who have lost their lives due to personal suffering. I am drug free and have never taken a hallucinogenic drug; therefore I find it difficult to fully understand Bessie Heads Novel “A question of Power.”

What I am however, is an open minded individual with an eagerness to learn, a passion for creativity and a social affinity for understanding people. With these personal traits, I have delved head first into Bessie Head’s novel “A question of Power” in hopes to learn a little something. For the purpose of this paper I will focus on the abyss and how Bessie Heads novel "A Question of Power" has shown me that through self expression and various artforms  people can express the torments of such a place, releasing them from the cycle of self destruction.

Bessie Head has lived her life in isolation; she is without family, without a homeland and without an identity. Isolation is no place for the soul; In fact I think the absence of unity is detrimental to a person’s well-being. Ego tells us that we are separate, special, and unique because we are apart. But this is a trap because when you are alone there is no one to connect with; there is no one to help you and you become vulnerable to the influence spirits of personal demons.

Bare with me, this is something that I am trying to make sense of, I only hope that there is light on the other side.

Extreme isolation throws a person inward. I think this expereince may be similar to having a near death experience or experiencing some sort of trauma. Bessie Head, in all of her pain, depression and quest for answers, was put on the edge, thrown inward into an inner prison with destructive demons, desperately trying to break her as she tried to make sense of the complex circumstances which surrounded her. When Birgette a volunteer from Denmark confides in Elizabeth the main charcater in of novel, sharing her own painful inner emotional disturbances, Elizabeth is taken aback, Bessie writes:

“Elizabeth could think of nothing to say, except that they were alike; but she was so lonely, so self-contained, so wrapped up in her own isolation (pg 84-85).”

But you see Bessie Head was not alone. Popular artist throughout history such as Jimmy Hendrix and Janis Joplin were also products of isolation. They were loved, adored by millions of fans, but who really knew the individuals behind the music. Jimi Hendrix grew up as a shy and sensitive boy, deeply affected by the conditions of poverty, neglect and troubling family events that took place in his childhood. Janis on the other hand, was often taunted and teased because of her weight and bad acne often called “pig”, “freak” and “creep.” Janis once said:

“I'm a victim of my own insides. There was a time when I wanted to know everything...It used to make me very unhappy, all that feeling. I just didn't know what to do with it. But now I've learned to make that feeling work for me. I'm full of emotion and I want a release, and if you're on stage and if it's really working and you've got the audience with you, it's a oneness you feel.”  Janis Joplin, 1966

It seems some are more emotionally attuned to the sufferiung of others. These individuals are easily swept along by both the tragedy and joy that enter their lives, Head writes:

“So sensitively attuned was she to the feelings of others that Elizabeth nearly shouted out aloud with joy. The sun might go down and the stars come out. The beautiful girl in front of her was part of that shift from light to shadow to darkness (pg 81).”

Jimi Hendrix once said "Manic depression is a frustrating mess." Although it can be a frustrating mess there is a tool that is used in opposition to to the dark side of the destruction.This tool is creativity, it  runs counter to self-destruction at times overlapping. It is a process that swings the individual between creation and destruction like a pendulum. A person can wear themselves down and out, go through so much pain and self loathing that they stir up emotion and insight, which sends the pendulum back the other way towards expression. Bessie Head, Jimmy Hendrix, Janis Joplin even Van Gogh are all examples of artist born with a special talent, who had the ability to release their creativity by communicating the innermost depths of their souls. However unfortnuantly they were also people, people who lived with a tremendous amount of pain and isolation which eventually lead to their own demise.

I once heard Jimi Hendrix referred to as a Shaman, a person who goes beyond the boundaries of consensus reality, finding cures to life’s little riddles with the strength and fortitude to return and to share insights with the rest of the world. He shared himself through his guitar. This instantly got me thinking about Bessie Head and other artist who have also been products of extreme isolation, and I concluded: It seems isolation often leads to self destruction and self destruction takes one away from shared experience, the conventional modes of expression and behavior that make up our social norms. The shaman or the true artists are the ones with the fortitude and resilience to return from the edge with reports of what they have so painfully endured. They drive culture by bringing in fresh concepts and new modes of expression that can only be found after experiencing intense personal trials or tribulations. I for one am grateful for these shamanistic artistic types because they show us the stuff we’re made of, they show us what the world is made of- they go nuts and then use their talent to tell us about it- if that isn’t art, if that isn’t true creativity, well then Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Bessie Head were simply adored overrated frauds.